That's intense
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
