I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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