I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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