She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
