Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
