The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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