Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
