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• (248): View more from Michigan

  My new storm is the chrons

  (248): View more from Michigan

  The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....

  (1+44): View more from

  The baked potato bra?

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  It was a blind-side dick pic.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  So date night went well?

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Challenge accepted

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.

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• (714): View more from California

  My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!

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