Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
