Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
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what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
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Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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