She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
it glows. i had to have it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
