Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
