"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
