Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'

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  (630): there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is' http://tfl.nu/8psl
  Replies (61) Good night (7512) Bad night (893)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.

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  (918): The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners. http://tfl.nu/k8de
  Replies (7) Good night (751) Bad night (3839)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy

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  (+61): I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy http://tfl.nu/e6l2
  Replies (36) Good night (4100) Bad night (1048)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.

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  (330): Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car. http://tfl.nu/8rap
  Replies (6) Good night (2647) Bad night (868)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either

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  (902): He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either http://tfl.nu/fc5z
  Replies (5) Good night (2905) Bad night (915)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.

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  (248): Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy. http://tfl.nu/ck7x
  Replies (18) Good night (1363) Bad night (2585)
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  (914): View more from New York

  What are you wearing tonight?

  (510): View more from California

  The colors of the winddddddd

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  (914): What are you wearing tonight? (510): The colors of the winddddddd http://tfl.nu/dt24
  Replies (7) Good night (3612) Bad night (655)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.

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  (306): You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons. http://tfl.nu/ly4h
  Replies (4) Good night (1404) Bad night (806)
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  (909): View more from California

  So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment

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  (909): So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment http://tfl.nu/2pzw
  Replies (14) Good night (807) Bad night (2415)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox

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  (734): nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox http://tfl.nu/ge10
  Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (552)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.

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  (425): I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone. http://tfl.nu/vl0d
  Replies (7) Good night (1717) Bad night (608)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.

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  (708): I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid. http://tfl.nu/0wsp
  Replies (4) Good night (676) Bad night (437)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?

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  (847): Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility? http://tfl.nu/rg25
  Replies (7) Good night (453) Bad night (626)
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  (585): View more from New York

  They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.

  (716): View more from New York

  So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?

  (585): View more from New York

  Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.

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  (585): They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years. (716): So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy? (585): Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win. http://tfl.nu/ig9q
  Replies (6) Good night (634) Bad night (358)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it

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  (636): I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it http://tfl.nu/ihkd
  Replies (2) Good night (794) Bad night (302)

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