I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Randomize
