The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
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Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
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I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.