Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles

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  (319): I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles http://tfl.nu/zz0g
  Replies (7) Good night (2697) Bad night (525)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.

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  (417): Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass. http://tfl.nu/mz6y
  Replies (8) Good night (968) Bad night (2266)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream

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  (203): Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream http://tfl.nu/mtat
  Replies (23) Good night (700) Bad night (4571)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.

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  (914): She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl. http://tfl.nu/b8qp
  Replies (35) Good night (11795) Bad night (959)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....

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  (706): You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there.... http://tfl.nu/cfkl
  Replies (10) Good night (3756) Bad night (823)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.

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  (904): I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative. http://tfl.nu/a3af
  Replies (7) Good night (1438) Bad night (683)
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  (441): View more from Bermuda-Carib

  You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.

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  (441): You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only. http://tfl.nu/b5c7
  Replies (2) Good night (1807) Bad night (840)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.

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  (561): jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect. http://tfl.nu/vkgr
  Replies (2) Good night (853) Bad night (337)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.

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  (720): I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry. http://tfl.nu/lrky
  Replies (2) Good night (1312) Bad night (351)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.

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  (815): My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/xtl1
  Replies (0) Good night (826) Bad night (217)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.

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  (804): My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost. http://tfl.nu/72vv
  Replies (1) Good night (322) Bad night (607)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.

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  (304): Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination. http://tfl.nu/22p5
  Replies (4) Good night (395) Bad night (191)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?

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  (610): My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date? http://tfl.nu/n22z
  Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (323)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.

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  (214): This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given. http://tfl.nu/z7tx
  Replies (2) Good night (808) Bad night (256)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.

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  (740): Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there. http://tfl.nu/xst3
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (221)

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