Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize