That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
