arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
