I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My ass is underappreciated
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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