Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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