I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
