Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
