So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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