i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
