Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
