How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
