She announced her abortion via fbk
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
