Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
