Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
