My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize