I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
