The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
