I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
