you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
