im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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