Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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