You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
