her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
