I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
