Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i think i just lost a toe
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
