I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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