I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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