is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
