i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
