MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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