other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
