garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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