I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
