sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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