after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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