I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
