I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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