i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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