Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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