Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
