Plan B is the new Plan A
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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