One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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