i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize