i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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