these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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