What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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