"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
