69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
