She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
