Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
