The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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